


The Hourglass and the Scythe

by palomino333



Category: Transformers (Unicron Trilogy), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Armada
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friendship, Loyalty, Robot/Human Relationships, Robots, Trust, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 11:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palomino333/pseuds/palomino333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armada, set directly after the episode Mars, and features an alternate take on the episode Crack. "For as curious as you are, you won't find all of the answers," Starscream replied, the flint back in his tone, "You have the conceit that you can simply dissect each and every piece of a transformer, Autobot or Decepticon, simply by asking enough questions."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hourglass and the Scythe

Humans weren't meant to fly.

She'd been foolish in entertaining the notion of doing so on more than one occasion, opening up her bedroom window and climbing up onto the roof when her parents hadn't suspected her to be still awake at night. Sitting on the edge, and swinging her legs back and forth, she'd stare up at the stars over the desolate cliffs that towered in the distance, and wonder what was out there.

Funny, then, how the visitors from another world had come during the day, and how the first one she had seen could fly.

Starscream stood before her in jet form. The wind whipped Alexis's hair back as he powered up his engine. The glass dome of the cockpit opened, rising into the air. "All right, get in," he conceded, and Alexis, her skin tingling, started forward. Starscream's one hand transformed to grasp her, and carry her up to the open cockpit. She paused with one leg thrown over the side, staring up at the bright blue sky, and the clouds tracing across it.

Starscream marked her moment of hesitation with a display of impatience. "I haven't all day."

Alexis swung her other leg over the side, and slid forward, landing on her feet with the cockpit. The cockpit's dome lowered back into place. "You surprise me," he commented, and Alexis drew in on herself as Starscream's voice vibrated around her, "Not too long ago, we were once enemies. Now you trust me enough to take a ride with me, where you would be most vulnerable. You do realize how easily I could kill you?"

Alexis, however, knew better than to take the words at face value, and instead circled about the pilot's seat to stare at the Decepticon symbol inset into the leather. "I could be killed by any of the Autobots by accident," she replied, glancing up at the dome above her, "It's easy, really, considering how small I am in comparison to them. What would you gain from killing me, anyway?"

"Trusting me because you are inconsequential?" Starscream chuckled, "I wouldn't call that wise."

Alexis's hand fastened tightly about the leather of the seat, squeezing it. "Threatening me despite knowing how much Optimus and the others care about we humans? That's not necessarily smart either, Starscream."

She could hear the smile in his voice. "Sit down."

"Thank you," she replied cheerfully, settling herself into the seat, and drawing the belt across her chest. She found it interesting that Starscream had allowed her to fasten herself in, as opposed to doing it himself, despite him having full control over it. "Here we go," she whispered to herself, her hands kneading the armrests as the buttons before herself lowered, and the jet's engine revved. She swallowed as Starscream tore down the open desert expanse before them, his wheels sending up rocks and debris before locking inward, and lifting off.

Alexis swallowed a few times, her ears popping as the room tilted upward, the dome displaying that clear blue sky and white clouds again. One of the clouds flew up close as he tore through it, the cockpit slowly lowering back into its upright position. Alexis leaned forward, taking in deep breaths, and feeling sweat bead on her forehead and back, causing her shirt to stick to her.

"I haven't lost you, have I?" Starscream inquired, the challenge still in his tone of voice.

Alexis grinned for a moment, and then pushed herself back up with a grunt. "Nope, still here, although," she glanced about, "I'm not quite sure where 'here' is anymore."

Starscream chuckled at that. "We've crossed what you humans call the southern state line. Here." Alexis grasped the armrests tightly again, her teeth gritted as the jet dipped. She shut her eyes as the sun glared up at her, and let go of one of the armrests to hold up an arm before her eyes.

"Whatever you want to show me, I can't see it," she muttered in annoyance.

"Got you to let go of me," Starscream replied, the cockpit tilting slightly as he angled himself away. Alexis groaned, dropping her arm back to her side. Opening her eyes, she found she could only slit them against the light of the dusty ground below, and the glimmer of the towering city buildings. Heat waves drew off of the city, and dust kicked up from the wind blowing.

"It's beautiful," Alexis commented, "Though I don't think you took me with you just to sight-see." She crossed her legs, making herself more comfortable. "You heavily dislike this planet."

He turned sideways, and the city slipped out of sight. "Odd reaction out of you."

Bracing her elbow upon the armrest, she rested her chin upon the palm of her hand. "You tried to kill Rad, Carlos, and me when you first arrived on Earth. What can I say?"

"Oh good, you aren't suicidal," he commented, put on some speed with a burst of the engine, "It interests me that you'd trust me to stay, in spite of that."

Alexis leaned back against the seat, and shut her eyes. "Where are we going, again?"

"Nowhere of significance to me. I don't live on this planet," he responded plainly.

Alexis cracked her eyes open. "Where do you live?"

Starscream laughed. "Anywhere and nowhere. I'm not bound to the earth or the sea. Jetfire would probably tell you the same." He sobered, and added, "But that isn't the answer your inquisitive little mind is looking for." Banking low, he allowed her a view of a farm, its corn growing for the summer. "I haven't had the ability to live in a house of my own, be it city or country. My existence has been spent in military barracks or on the battlefield, ever-changing as the settings are." Alexis sighed at that, and he responded, "It isn't worth pity."

"Don't you ever wonder how things could have been different?" Alexis inquired.

The farmhouse disappeared as he flew toward the horizon, mountains rising in the distance. Alexis figured that they were probably heading toward the Rocky Mountain Range. "Why?" He asked in genuine curiosity. "I can't miss what I didn't have."

"What about Optimus, or Red Alert? They miss it," she supplied.

"They're older," he responded simply, "They remember what Cybertron was like before the war. I don't have that privilege."

"Hot Shot and Sideswipe didn't, either," Alexis argued, "yet they do."

"You're missing my point," he replied, his tone implying that he was beginning to become a little annoyed, "They don't truly know what it was like, but they can grasp at images or information that their commanders give them. In a way, I suppose, it gives them hope."

Alexis placed her knees together, sliding her feet back toward herself. "And what about you?"

"I see Cybertron for what it is," he replied, "Your planet is past its prime, Alexis. Despite the iron of its core, it is still populated with carbon-based life. When the time of organic life ends, it will likely become a wasteland. To you, that point in time hasn't a possibility of coming. It will be hundreds, if not thousands, of human lifetimes off. To me, however, it's something I could see."

Alexis swallowed as she noted his usage of "could" in place of "would."

"Cybertron, as the war continues, is a dying world. Even if the war somehow ended today, it would take several vorns to repair the damage, let alone restore it to what it once was. Frankly, that's out of the question at this point."

"Why?" She prompted, staring out at a legion of cacti that that they were soaring over. A dust storm roared in the distance.

"Our frame of reference is completely off. We'd be restoring to the state it was directly preceding the war. If there was some golden age of our planet, we wouldn't come close to returning to it."

Alexis reached up, and placed her hand to the dome. "Could there be another, or a silver age? Maybe a bronze age?" Starscream, much to her surprise, took off into all-out spin, causing her to retract her hand and cry out as she held on for dear life. The cockpit cabin flipped and righted itself, only to flip again, the dust from the storm beating against his dome and sides. Spinning once more, he stopped quickly, throwing Alexis slightly forward, her seat belt catching her, and took off, slicing forward through the dust storm until the blue sky shone from above again, mottled by the dust on the dome.

Alexis breathed hard to regain her composure, but before she could question him as to his intentions, Starscream spoke. "I doubt you were still thinking of those silver and bronze ages in that storm."

She laughed shakily, wiping at the sweat on her brow. "No, I wasn't." Sitting up, she commented, "I'm surprised you would admit that the war is causing the death of Cybertron."

"It's something you were expecting to hear from Optimus, if you hadn't already," he replied in a tired fashion, "It's my home world as well as it is his. I can see the writing on the wall, as well as him, but the difference is in interpretation."

"I'd say yours was fatalistic," Alexis commented.

"Not quite, otherwise I wouldn't have been chasing after Mini-Cons on this planet. I'd had my hands full enough back on Cybertron." Noticing the gradual loss of altitude, Alexis glanced up to see the blue sky falling out of sight in favor of a mountainous cliff that framed the horizon.

"You still commanded from the Moon, didn't you?" She asked as the dome above her opened. She unclicked her seatbelt, and stood up on wobbling legs. Metal scraped as Starscream transformed partially to reach back into the dome, and present a hand for her to climb onto. She stumbled, but caught her balance on the edge of his finger, stepping onto it and shading her eyes. Retracting his hand, he placed it down upon the ground for her step off. Alexis half-bent, placing her hands to knees, and breathed hard, wondering when the ground would stop shaking. She rose slowly, and splayed her arms out on each side of her as she took a few tentative steps forward before relaxing into a casual walk, her eyes squinted against the merciless sunlight. Starscream transformed behind her, bringing her line of vision into shadow.

"I'd rather keep that confidential," he answered.

Turning back to look up at him, and stepping backward on one foot, Alexis replied, "Sure, I won't ask about it again." She glanced out at their surroundings, her eyes widening as she took in the image of a canyon carving apart the earth before them. Standing beyond it in the distance were more cacti, and moving lifeforms that Alexis cold not identify due to distance. The dust cloud behind them, however, implied to her that they might have been wild horses. Stepping carefully toward the canyon, she sat down upon it, scooting forward. Her skin prickled at the closeness to the edge as she leaned forward on her elbows to identify the odd shapes within the canyon. Scraping from behind her caused her to glance backward, and see Starscream brushing the dust off of himself. The motion was odd to see in its casualness, in light of their history on opposing lines of a battlefield.

Noticing her eyes on him, he dropped his hand. She turned her head, and continued to examine the odd shapes until they came into a formative whole in her mental assembly. "Cliff dwellings," she commented.

"Abandoned human constructs," he agreed, "We passed many on the way here, though most of them were made of wood, as opposed to stone."

"Boom towns," she confirmed with a nod, "They sprung up during the race for oil and minerals across the west. When the oil dried, some towns were abandoned, while others became great cities. Those that were abandoned didn't see the next century." She pointed at the cliff dwellings. "Are there places like this on Cybertron? Dead for centuries?"

"Many," clanking metal indicated that he had folded his arms, "Some of which I myself killed." Alexis spun at that, rising with her fist clenched. Starscream held his ground. "It's war. Everyone does what they need to survive."

"But destroying homes? Buildings?"

"If it allowed my men an easier route, then yes," he replied firmly, "Those buildings were used as vantage points and detachment areas. Simply flying over them would have been suicide." He waved a hand. "Don't act surprised, Alexis. How long was your longest human war?"

She took her eyes from him to think, and distract herself from her outrage, her fist releasing for her fingers to twist at her side. "The Reconquista, 770 years of battle for political and religious regions. Our technology isn't even close to yours now, and back in that time, it was even more so." As an aside, she added, "There's a saying, here on Earth, that warns against discussing religion and politics."

"Your Reconquista would have been nothing in the stretch of time of the current war," he replied bluntly.

"It didn't make it any less devastating," Alexis argued, her fist clenching once more. "The largest wars humanity waged on itself lasted four and six years, respectively. The amount of time taken doesn't matter when anyone can die in an instant." She placed a hand to her chest. "That isn't just me speaking as a fragile human, either. We nearly lost Hoist."

Wind blew heavily across the plain, causing Alexis to raise an arm to shield herself with a cry. Something heavy plunked down around her body, and coiled into her side. Scrubbing at the dirt that had blown into her eyes, she glanced about herself to see that it was Starscream's hand, and that he had knelt forward to shield her. "When the wind lets up, move. You're standing too close to the edge," he ordered.

Raising her voice above the wind, she asked, "How many have you lost, in the war?" The side of Starscream's mouth twitched as he had been struck. Alexis realized too late that she had hit a sore spot, considering Starscream's utter disdain for Megatron. Likely, every loss Starscream had taken under his command had diminished him in his leader's vision. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if his reaction had been at recalling the most likely abusive language (or possible physical abuse) thrown at him by Megatron for his failures, or by genuine hurt at losing those he had commanded. Considering Starscream's detached tone when speaking about the current state of his own home world, Alexis figured that the latter didn't apply as much. Still, he was kneeling on the ground in order to protect her from falling to her death in a canyon, though he hadn't prevented her from putting herself in that situation.

"My share," he replied evasively, glancing to the side. "Wind's letting up. Move." He opened his fingers outward, allowing her to pass through, and stood once more.

Circling about him, and taking care to stay in his shadow against the sun, she noted, "You know, you seemed a lot older the first few times I saw you."

"That's an odd way to insult me," Starscream replied, taken off-guard by her comment.

She shrugged. "It was the voice, mainly, but the only point of reference I had in age difference were Hot Shot and Red Alert. Guess I wasn't expecting someone that young to have a rank that high." She linked her hands behind her back. "I'll admit that I was a little envious, considering I want to be a leader myself at some point."

He snorted, nearly knocking her down with the rush of air from the ventilation. "I suppose that's why you take so much of what Optimus says to heart."

Alexis, currently distracted with swiping the hair out of her face, replied in irritation, "He's a better role model than Megatron."

"No argument there," he agreed, and Alexis, still holding strands of her hair out of the way, glanced up.

"I don't think I'm striking the proper tones here," she muttered.

"I lived with Megatron. Tact is a luxury I can't seem to afford," he hissed. His tone lightened, however, as he added, "Nevertheless, I can at least appreciate the acknowledgment, however unwarranted it is."

She smiled. "Well, you did leave us a gift, for one." She thought of the return gift she and her friends had put together, sitting underneath her bed at home. Its colors stood out garishly to her, and the stitching was rather patchwork and amateur. The five of them had collectively rubbed the backs of their necks, shrugged, and shuffled their feet, murmuring that they had done their best. Billy had joked that no one was really good with the needle, and that lightened the mood.

Starscream smirked, and reached to the side, picking up a piece of sandstone to roll back and forth in his hand contemplatively. "You're rather easy to please."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing," she pointed out.

The stone dropped. "You accept too little that way."

"Silver and bronze ages," she replied in a singsong voice, her head swinging back and forth. Starscream performed the closest thing he could to an eye roll before standing to walk off. She hurried after him to keep pace. "There's something I don't understand, though. The cliff dwellings were abandoned due to natural causes, such as problems with food or water, not war."

He paused to look down at her. "Go ahead and look, then. I'm not stopping you. You might find your answers there."

She smirked. "Mad because I won?"

"Oh please." Starscream turned his head away from her. "What I should've realized earlier is that if I take you with me, I have to bring you back. I can't get you to leave."

Alexis shrugged. "If you want to go, that's fine. I'm not stopping you." She kicked aside a patch of knot grass. "If anything, I'm pleasantly surprised that you let me come with you. Surprised you didn't bring Swindle."

"Surprised you didn't bring Sureshock," he replied, turning her words on her.

Alexis kept her gaze fixed on the wavering horizon as she replied, "You're a single-seater." Starscream turned his head at that, and she linked her fingers behind her back, skipping ahead a few steps and sending up a cloud of dust. "She can take care of herself at the Autobot base, since she knows it so well. What about Swindle, though? He's not as used to it."

"He does what he wants, as do the Mini-Cons the Autobots themselves have," he replied in a blasé tone, "Though considering that they tried to steal him from me not too long ago, it would've been smarter of me to bring him here, instead."

Alexis turned on her heel at that, and Starscream mockingly placed a hand over where, she supposed, his spark chamber was hidden from view. "A gesture of good faith."

She sighed. "Sorry, we just assumed that Swindle was being held against his will, or was brainwashed. You were the one who named him, after all, so he didn't get much of a choice."

"He kept it of his own free will," Starscream replied simply, and Alexis nodded in agreement.

"You can call me odd all you want, but I find it strange, your relationship with him. It took Blurr a while to see the Mini-Cons as we do." Starscream waved in an arm in a motion that indicated a form of disgust, and walked ahead. Alexis swallowed hard, realizing that, despite his previous words about not being able to afford tact, it probably wasn't a good idea to anger her only ride back to base. She immediately corrected herself, calling to his back, "Look, I'm sorry! That was an ignorant comparison to make!"

"It's one I expected," he replied without turning back.

Alexis sighed, and sprinted to come up alongside him. "To be fair, the guys and I are new to this, and we really have only what the Autobots tell us, and what we see of the Decepticons on the battlefield, to go off of."

"I'm surprised you didn't try to pump Scavenger for tales of the moon base." Distaste was clear to hear in his voice.

"You do realize who you're talking about, right?" She asked, waving her arms for emphasis, "He spends most of his time sleeping."

"Oh, don't remind me." Reaching up, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I thought Cyclonus's snoring was bad, but I had no idea. At least he doesn't drool."

Alexis giggled behind her hand, and found that she was surprised at the ease of which they were speaking about Starscream's former comrade. Starscream emphasized this by drawing the conversation back on point. "You would expect an Autobot to treat a Mini-Con well."

"I'll admit it's a bias, if not a prejudice. But to be fair, look how many Mini-Cons that were rescued from the moon."

Starscream gnashed his dentals, and Alexis gulped, backing up. Realizing that she was inadvertently drawing closer to the edge of the canyon, she instead slipped back behind him, and out of his line of vision. When he spoke, his voice was rather quiet, though with a slight grinding tone beneath it. "That was Megatron's planning. You seem to consider the terms 'Megatron' and 'Decepticon' as mere semantics, but the truth couldn't be further from it."

"You assisted him in it, and so did Demolishor, Cyclonus, Thrust, Sideways, Wheeljack, and Tidal Wave," Alexis responded upon finding her voice again.

"If you're going to accuse me of something, face me while you're doing it." Starscream didn't turn around his spoke, and Alexis realized too late what hole she had dug herself into. Before she could lose her nerve, she walked to stand in front of him, and stared up at him. Starscream's optics were narrowed at her, and his posture was stiff. She glanced at his foot, and knew it would be all too easy for him to crush her to paste. She could forget trying to outrun him. Even considering the very real threat that Starscream would be placing a target on himself by killing her, the fact remained that the Autobots were still many miles off.

Nevertheless, she repeated, "You assisted Megatron in enslaving those Mini-Cons, as did the other Decepticons."

After a moment's pause, he replied, "Of course I did, on bended knee, no less."

"Bended knee?" Alexis repeated, surprised.

Starscream waved a hand. "Optimus is too informal; salutes suffice for him. We took our oaths to Megatron upon bended knee, thus we allowed ourselves to be addressed by him in the same way out of memory of the oath."

"Considering what you've told me about the Decepticons, then, bowing to another almost never occurs. The transformer you did bow to would be someone you owed you very life to." She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as the implications of her own words sunk in. "Oh, Starscream, I'm so sorry."

"I don't want your pity," he hissed, and she dropped her hand, reminding herself not to look away from his optics. "Despite what you may have thought of me previously, when I was just a specter on the other side of the battlefield, you know now that I don't treat my own Mini-Con in that way. Let me also remind you that Scavenger himself did the same thing, as did Sideways."

"Sideways is no friend to us."

"But he was once. We let Scavenger in, and you let Sideways in."

Alexis folded her arms. "What does that say about you, Starscream? If anything, I'd say that especially after Mars, you harbor some affection for the Mini-Cons, but I can't be sure about the Autobots." She decided to proceed no further on her point, realizing that she had caught herself in her wording. For the sake of her pride, she relented, "Then again, it's probably easier, isn't it, to feel affection for something that doesn't have to do with you?"

"Don't call it affection," he responded sharply, pointing at her, "What you fail to understand as a human is the fact that our bond with the Mini-Cons is different from yours. Sureshock can talk to you as much as she wants, but the fact remains that you are organic, and she is made of metal. Affection is just an emotional response; she doesn't know your thoughts or your being, and she doesn't give you power through linking."

Alexis walked to the side in order to be out of the direct path of his finger, which he lowered. "Then what is it? Reliance? I can see that with Swindle, but you brought the Star Saber with you when you left the Decepticons. The Air Defense Team was holding your leg when you tried to leave the Autobot base."

"For as curious as you are, you won't find all of the answers," Starscream replied, the flint back in his tone, "You have the conceit that you can simply dissect each and every piece of a transformer, Autobot or Decepticon, simply by asking enough questions."

She held out her hands. "I don't claim to know everything. I'm still learning, as you just demonstrated."

"You're missing the point," he replied, losing his patience with her, "You can't possibly understand us unless you were one of us. Our bodies are too different. Some of the Autobots may consider you to be a curiosity, and they may care for you, but the truth of the matter is that the only reason we are here is by pure chance. You're five people out of billions, representing Earth in a war that was spanned millennia and which, frankly, doesn't concern you, outside of Rad and Carlos activating Highwire."

"That's our way of taking responsibility, though," she responded evenly, "We brought this war to Earth, and we're going to help end it before we end up getting killed by mistake." Staring off at the cliff dwellings, she continued, "Literally, that Null Laser Cannon you have through powerlinking with Swindle could level an entire human city, much like the one we flew over. Millions could die without even knowing why."

"Funny, isn't it?" Starscream commented, "The Autobots, those who, in their own words, protect the Earth, are more dangerous to it by living on its surface. At least the Decepticons live on the moon, far enough from it to not do as much damage, save from knocking down a man-made satellite."

Alexis's head whipped around, and Starscream shrugged. "Cyclonus's target practice, not mine. Nevertheless, I would call that saving your own skin, as opposed to taking responsibility, since you live on this planet. To be fair, everyone does it."

"Flying over human cities like that, does it tempt you?" Alexis inquired, fighting to keep her voice steady, and dreading the answer. "You have no interest in humanity."

Starscream brushed her question off. "What would be the point of it? It will fall to dust as the centuries pass on its own."

"This one hasn't," she pointed at the cliff dwellings.

"They aren't made of metal, but give them time. It would be easy to wipe out this planet, but there isn't a point in it. It's, in my personal opinion, neither worth destroying nor defending. Left to its own devices, Earth will fade away into its own obscurity." When he turned his head, Alexis realized that he was staring up at the horizon, as opposed to the dwellings. "Which is why I can't fathom the love Optimus harbors for this world. Maybe it's out of envy for what he once had, but if so, he's a fool."

Alexis was quick to defend her friend. "Don't you ever consider that he cares for us for the sake of the fact that we are living creatures, as well? We're obscure in comparison to your race, Starscream, I'll agree with that, but centuries of human thought denied that in the past. We'd thought ourselves as gods, and we still do. We destroy ourselves just as easily as transformers do, and frankly, if there was a way in which humanity would die, it would be with a gun to its own head." Starscream's gaze found hers again at that, and she added plainly, "It would be, to you, one small, obscure gunshot that would go unheard to you, just as the shots that still fire on Cybertron that go unheard to all of us here, even we five." She took a heavy breath at that, and drew an arm across her forehead to remove the perspiration.

"Misguided compassion, if not pity," Starscream remarked upon mulling over her words, "Hold your head up as a human, Alexis. If humanity dies in a gunshot, as you say, then do so on your feet, and not on your knees. Prove to me that you are worthy of some amount of concern, rather than allowing the words of another lifeform to coddle you."

Alexis smirked. "Almost caught me. If I became an object of significance, you'd try to kill me, then, wouldn't you?"

Starscream grinned at her. "Well done."

XXXXXX

"I can't believe you actually got him to do that," Rad commented as he walked, pushing Highwire along. His form was veiled in shadow, and backlit by lawn lights. Crickets chirped, and a bird took flight to land in a neighboring tree.

Alexis shrugged from where she walked alongside him, pushing Sureshock. "I doubt I'll ever get to do it again. I can't say the conversation with him was necessarily pleasant."

Grindor's wheels rattled along the cracks in the sidewalk as Carlos skated by. "To be fair, Alexis, look who you were talking to." He folded his hands behind his head. "Must've been really cool to fly with him, though. I mean, Jeftire can, but he's a shuttle, and not a jet."

"It was more unpredictable than anything," Alexis clarified, "Starscream switched his flight pattern based on his reactions to what I said, and told me he didn't have a set destination."

"Not sure if I can buy that part," Carlos argued, "Those cliff dwellings were wedged deep in the canyon. He had to have known they were there."

A dog barked and rattled the wooden fence they were passing, causing the three to jump. Rad groaned as slats of light shot through the gaps in the planking, revealing that the porch light had turned on. A door banged open from the hidden backyard. Carlos stepped off of Grindor to pick him up, and the three hurried on quickly as angered shouts from the resident of the home struck the air, the dog barking all the while. Lights from the opposing house clicked on as the three slipped into a nearby alley between two other residences. The home on the right was darkened, while the blue light from a television slipped out of the left. From a distant porch, someone strummed a guitar. Tires beat the gravel as a bike sped past.

"I didn't, either," she affirmed, "He's not going to be open with his intentions. What bothers me, though, is that the way Starscream was talking. It seemed as if he wasn't part of either faction." Being careful with her words, she elaborated, "He talked about how either worked, but didn't seem to align himself, except for talking about past terms."

"Think that's a step in the right direction?" Carlos asked, hugging Grindor close to himself. The lights before them were broken as the cyclist sped past, helmeted head bowed low as the bike picked up speed, and vanished out of sight.

"I'm not sure," she replied honestly, "I thought Mars was, but the more I look at it, the more I think that it was just a reflection of his mind." Rad and Carlos turned their heads at that, and Alexis glanced down at Sureshock. "There is a faction Starscream cares for, I think, but it's the Mini-Cons' faction. As for the other two, I suppose I can sympathize. He spent most of his time with the Decepctions. His values had taken root within it, and were shaped by his experiences with it. The Autobots, I don't think he can be bothered to care much for at this point."

"He's with the Autobots, though, that's the issue," Rad pointed out as they carefully crossed the narrow street, the backyards of the houses practically opening onto each other. Another fenced-off area held a stream of swaying lightbulbs. Laughter and Jimi Hendrix poured out from behind the fence. Carlos ducked out the way as a beer bottle flew from behind the fence to smash on a sewer grate. "You understand his situation better than us, Alexis, I'll give you that, but he's still with them in their domain. Their rules apply."

Carlos shrugged. "They haven't kicked him out, so I think there isn't that much of an issue."

Rad acknowledged his argument. "True. The tension is still there, though. I think we might want to nix the idea of taking the Mini-Cons out for a walk tomorrow. It probably wouldn't be the best idea to rock the boat right now. Besides, we've got the party to worry about."

"Agreed. Billy and Fred took care of picking up the party supplies this morning. I owe them about twenty bucks, but it's not a big deal. Dad had me on lawn duty," Carlos sighed in annoyance, "I'm running out of excuses, man. He's starting to catch me in the lie."

Rad laughed. "What does he think we're up to, smoking weed?"

Carlos nudged Alexis meaningfully, and she blanched. "Oh, Jesus, no," she muttered, her face in her hand.

"Uh, sorry I asked." Rad rubbed the back of his neck, "If it makes you feel any better, Carlos, I'm starting to run dry, as well. I barely managed to avoid getting grounded the other day."

Passing away from the artificial shaft of light cast by the party, Alexis looked over her shoulder at the two of them with a cheeky grin. "I think I'll have to teach you two to lie better. I'm going to be a politician, after all."

The two looked between each other. "And suddenly I realize why you got to ride in the jet today," Carlos muttered.

Alexis laughed, but sobered up as they crossed through the next yard, the wind causing the swings on the nearby swing set to sway noisily back and forth. "He told me that I should've asked Scavenger about his time with the other faction," she commented, "Still, I can't help but wonder if I'll get a clear picture from that, since Scavenger was under deep cover, literally and figuratively, at the time."

"What'd he have to say about Scavenger?" Rad asked curiously.

Alexis shrugged. "He hates his snoring, but what else is new. He also mentioned the time Scavenger worked with him, but I didn't see fit to press the point further, especially since he mentioned how Sidways used to work alongside us." Rad and Carlos grimaced at the mention. "Needless to say, my anger got the better of me, so that conversation went nowhere."

"Think we can talk to Scavenger sometime?" Carlos asked Rad.

Rad considered it. "The guys are busy working on the Axalon, but we can try when they're on break. Not sure how much we'll learn at this point, though."

Alexis rubbed her temples. "I feel like we've been looking at this situation half-blind the whole time. Now that the other half has been displayed, the puzzle has just become more complicated."

"Keep Starscream talking, though. We're going to have make up for that lost time," Rad implored, and she nodded at that. "I'll agree that we took what we heard for granted, but to be fair, there was a lot of reinforcement to it."

"Speaking of that, you probably won't be shocked to know that Megatron entered the conversation multiple times," Alexis muttered.

"Starscream really needs a hobby," Carlos responded.

"Slicing apart rocks?" Rad offered.

The two laughed, though Alexis refrained from joining in. While at first she thought that the exchange was over the line, she realized the gallows humor of it. Lightning bugs dotted the area as they left the swing set behind, turning the curve past the crooked street sign.

"So what's he think about us?" Carlos asked.

"He's indifferent to our world, which surprised me," Alexis commented, "He doesn't see a need for it to be saved or destroyed. I'm not sure what to make of that, but I suppose it's a relief."

Carlos tugged at his collar. "He's not going to kill us, great."

She patted Sureshock's side. "He's critical of our relationship with the Mini-Cons, though."

"How so?" Rad asked.

"To us, they're companions, but to the transformers, they're far different. We know this already, but he drove the point further." She folded her arms. "He isn't interested in learning about humanity because he doesn't see the point in it; we're too fundamentally different."

Rad reached into his pocket, and pulled out his piece of Mars rock. "If that was true, Alexis, then he wouldn't have listened to you."

XXXXXX

One more opportunity lost.

The chamois rested upon the desk in Starscream's quarters (he still found the term to be alien to him, considering his location), one corner folded over, and covered in grease already from his polishing Swindle with it. It was a flimsy, gaudy thing, but it nevertheless was a gift. Humans were strange creatures, or at least, the humans from his rather small sample size were. Free gifts simply weren't given in Decepticon culture, though that was understandable; resources were limited, and the strong had to survive. Everything had a catch simply because a role had to be filled.

There was a reason why the Autobots tended to have disadvantages in battle: they simply weren't willing to sacrifice enough for victory. Starscream saw that himself when he at last had claimed his own Mini-Con, and set the forest ablaze. Humans, despite the fragility that Alexis claimed, were more like Decepticons than they wished to believe in some respects, in that they did shape the land to follow their own rules. Still, while one of the toys they most loved to design were those that they could kill each other with, they had much to learn. It was a little sad, considering Alexis's rather bleak view upon humanity's future demise.

There was a reason he still wore the Decepticon insignia, and why no one questioned it. It wasn't disillusionment with the Decepticon mentality itself that drew him to the Autobots, rather it was his disillusionment with his leader himself. Optimus was foolish enough to let him stay, and Starscream was just as foolish to take him up on it. He smirked. When it came down to it, he would probably have to fight with Optimus just to get a swing at Megatron. Optimus could commandeer the final fight, but that was an inherently selfish notion despite his claims that he was taking one for the team. Megatron had ruined lives other than his, and for as much as Optimus upheld himself as a symbol of the Autobots (and was upheld as such), it was hubris all the same. He was a fallible Prime, as was demonstrated more than once upon Earth and Cybertron. Megatron himself was fallible, so there was truly no clash of gods, rather it was of two old commanders who assumed the position. Starscream was disgusted by the sheer conceit both of them held, but chose to say nothing.

He wondered if any of the other Autobots entertained such notions. Probably not, considering that they tended to stick to the mantras of teamwork and comradeship. It was all right in theory, he supposed, but after seeing so many comrades piling up dead on the battlefield, it was just sad. It was very strange on Earth that even Hoist hadn't died. While the desire for battle was there, the mortal spillage of energon was copiously absent, and Starscream found that to be disturbing in retrospect. Even when Sideways had betrayed Hot Shot on the moon, Megatron hadn't allowed the killing blow to be taken, considering Hot Shot to be of too little importance. Starscream, in retrospect, realized how foolish he himself had been emotionally, considering that he had felt all too willing to kill Hot Shot simply because he had possessed the Star Saber first. And then Megatron would torture a group of human adolescents, desire to keep them as pets, and attempt to crush one of them into pulp.

Decepticons didn't do very well outside of battle, Starscream noted, or at least some form of conflict. It would explain, at least, why the moon base was so dysfunctional. The war had left an imprint on the Autobots as well, however, in that at times the peace seemed strained. Starscream understood well that his presence generated much of the tension, hence his tendency to leave the base (and destroy rock formations), but it wasn't completely as a result of him personally. Meshing together young and old transformers of various backgrounds didn't always bode well. While there was a veneer of friendship between them, and they were comrades, it was likely that if the war did end, a few of them would not be so close.

Despite his acknowledgment of his own nature, however, he knew that this couldn't go on forever. He hadn't been Megatron's first second-in-command, but he had seen more than enough of his share of battle. Suffice it to say, it was what he had, his contending for the approval of his leader to the point where it had become devotion akin to a human's religion. Looking back, it was a little pathetic, but then again, it had been within him ever since he had first taken that oath, standing upon the ashes of centuries of war, and marching into centuries more. A leader of strength was needed, and he was all too willing to prove his worth to that leader. That was shattered for him that day in the rain, and he was forced to understand that the reality of it was that his efforts were for nothing.

For as tempting as Thrust's offer was, Starscream didn't trust him at this point, especially considering that he had been talking with Megatron about keeping Starscream around just to humiliate him. Thrust's extension of the invitation twice indicated something to him, the first being that he wouldn't receive another one, and the second that Thrust was desperate about something. Perhaps Megatron had turned on him, or Thrust truly was set on overthrowing Megatron? Nevertheless, Starscream didn't feel compelled to return. Likely he would have to surrender the Star Saber upon doing so, and, weaponry aside, he didn't feel compelled to have Megatron handling the Mini-Cons that he had taken care of, to say nothing of his own pride.

What bothered him, however, was how soft he had gotten already, leaving a solicited gift for the humans, and accepting an unsolicited gift from them. He supposed he was all right for the moment, in that he hadn't felt a semblance of closeness with the Autobots themselves. That would be a cause for concern more than anything else. Mini-Cons were a neutral faction in this, though some were aligned between Autobots and Decepticons (Swindle was an example of this), and the humans were the same. Starscream never would allow himself to be tamed, as it were. There was a difference between willingly bowing of his own volition to an opponent he deemed worthy, and scraping upon the floor. He intended not to bend at the knee for Megatron again after this, the mech having lost that privilege.

But the issue remained that this wasn't forever, and it hung over Starscream's head that he was in a momentary purgatory. Swindle beeped from where he sat upon Starscream's shoulder, and Starscream reached out to run his finger over his back. He'd regarded Mini-Cons as batteries for weapons, which their function was, but he hadn't expected to have found companionship with one, as well. He hadn't forced his thoughts upon the Mini-Con during linkage, otherwise Swindle would have probably been scared of him. Still, he'd still felt Starscream's rather palpable frustration at not being able to impress his leader, and felt his desperation at the futilities of so many losses.

Holding Swindle in his hand, Starscream had meditated a few times on the possibility of what a victory for the Decepticons would mean for their faction, once the Autobots would be no longer be considered a threat. Staring out upon the stars, and upon the orb of Earth, he'd found his thoughts to be dangerous, considering that he knew how quite a few of their existences to be predicated upon the topic of war itself. There was a reason Megatron had chosen to be a tank, and why he himself had chosen to be a fighter jet. Swindle had rested his side against his neck, causing Starscream to take a sharp breath at the contact at first, before the Mini-Con spoke. "Don't think I won't need you. What'll happen to me, as well?" More than once Starscream had assured that small mechanical being that he would be there for him, as was his responsibility. He had activated and named him, after all, thus making him the closest thing he had to a ward. He felt possessive of the Mini-Con to a fault, and realized too late how much the Mini-Cons had altered the playing field, and not just in terms of weaponry.

Humans didn't need transformers, though the technology would uplift them. Starscream had at times wondered why the human adolescents hadn't turned tail and run, as was wise. All life wanted to survive; that was made abundantly clear by the organic life that fled whenever the Decepticons and Autobots had a skirmish over a Mini-Con. Yet these five didn't turn and run off, barring a few isolated incidents. It was a form of bravery and foolishness he hadn't seen since he was a sparkling, believing himself to be immortal until a rifle blast damaged his wing to the point of it needing to be replaced. To be fair, however, he would never have gotten his wingsword otherwise.

Alexis had commented that humans had thought themselves to be gods, and indeed, they did make machines in their own image, bearing striking resemblances to Mini-Cons, but lacking in their sentience. Humans were terrified of machines with sentience, in that they couldn't be trusted with having their own minds, lest they consider humanity obsolete. While it was easy to harbor that sentiment, and indeed, Alexis gave her reasons why, she still stood before Starscream when he told her to stand upon her feet, and take that final gunshot with pride. There was bravery in them, foolish as it was for the Autobots to the point where it was suicidal. She'd wanted to try and understand another form she could never truly know; it didn't matter if it was Sureshock, Hot Shot, Optimus, or Starscream himself, she wanted to see from the optics of another. But then humanity still made machines of its own likeness that were not allowed their own manner of thinking. The human Isaac Asimov had preached his three laws, laws that which would have easily gotten a mechanical being killed on Cybertron. For as benevolent as the laws were to human beings, they strangled mechanical life.

Starscream tapped his hand upon the surface of his desk. "Form up, you three. Cleaning day." The Air Defense Team beeped in excitement, and combined into the Star Saber, allowing Starscream to place it upon the desk, and begin polishing it.

First Law: "A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm."

Rad had groaned in pain as Megatron had squeezed him roughly. Carlos, Alexis, Fred, and Billy had screamed as Megatron had electrocuted them, all in front of the optics of the Autobots.

Second Law: "A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law."

Optimus had disallowed the human boys to venture to Mars alongside Jetfire and himself. To be fair, the atmosphere wouldn't have sustained them, but nevertheless, they had still been wearing suits that supplied their own oxygen.

Third Law: "A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law."

The fact that the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons had reached Earth itself completely broke the third law. Along with that was the fact that, as he had mentioned to Alexis, the Autobots were actually posing humanity a greater risk by remaining upon the surface of Earth, as opposed to on the moon. While humans had accomplished the feat of leaving their home planet, space travel was still in its infancy among mankind, therefore the greater danger was earthbound. Perhaps if the Autobots had taken to the seas, the damage would have been less severe, but then again, shockwaves from beneath the ocean could have created typhoons, and sky bound bases would have been too conspicuous. An underground base could have created an earthquake.

While there was a friendship between the Autobots and the five humans, the laws upon which humans had drafted their idealized mechanical creations simply weren't compatible with sentient machines, unless Starscream was missing something in his analysis. He knew that he hadn't really interacted with human life for very long, and he knew also that if he continued to do so, it would likely soften him further. He hadn't been able to bring himself to kill Thrust this day, and that had haunted him. Despite the more relaxed noises of the Autobot base, such as the whir of machinery, and the conversation and footsteps that drifted about, Thrust's shadow slunk by. He felt rather embarrassed by that, considering that such a coward as Thrust was actually posing such an issue to him. Killing Thrust would have decapitated part of Megatron's chain of command, just as Starscream's defection most likely did. Still, given the amount of losses Megatron had taken over the centuries, he had found his positions easy to fill. If that were true, however, he had certainly gone out of his way to try and stop Starscream's defection, though could have been because Starscream had been carrying the Star Saber at the time.

He was careful in his ministrations, stroking a hand in a motion that could be considered comforting over the blade. He wasn't about to let the tyrant have this blade again, and take these three to be his. At the same time, however, Starscream didn't necessarily feel compelled to share with his fellow Autobots. In his defense, he used the Star Saber to benefit them, so there really shouldn't be much of an issue. He had a feeling, however, that after Thrust's extended invitation had been declined twice, there would be repercussions for it. Most likely, a door to a rougher battle was creaking open, but that was to be understood, anyway. They couldn't be away from Cybertron forever. Starscream had felt something that humans could call homesickness on a few isolated occasions. Despite the war, it was his planet, not this carbon-based orb.

Alexis, for as accepting as she was of him, could never understand that. He gave the girl credit that she'd been able to fly with him, and indeed, the experience had been satisfactory, but there were differences between them. Earth wasn't necessarily a stable planet, either, and Alexis most likely had her own concerns for the future that extended beyond school work. He'd admittedly acquired a deal of care for her existence, though he and she both knew that its ending would be much swifter in coming. A car wreck could kill her, as could disease. He supposed he could find it admirable that humans continued to live on for as long as they had despite their harshness of their planet, but it was a fabricated existence. Several times humanity had found its own apocalypse, and came most close to extinction in what was deemed its fourteenth century, but even then it had survived for another seven centuries and counting. Not bad.

Still, all the kindness in the world couldn't change everything, and Alexis, if she was as intelligent as Starscream gave her credit for, had to know that. While he did care for her more than he would let on in public company, her life was so limited in comparison to his. Why leave an ideology that had taken up ninety-five percent of his lifespan for a few kind words and gestures in the five percent, even if those were the most genuine? Unfortunately, while it did give him a form of ache, in one hundred years' time, Alexis's cold body would likely be lying in a human vessel called a casket, and that's if she was lucky to have survived that long. Starscream knew that he likely wouldn't see it, and he found that to be disheartening despite himself. For her being such a profound person in his recent memory, he wouldn't be able to see her. Would she be buried with the Mars rock, he wondered, or would it be taken from her death bed, and placed on display in a human museum as a further study of the red planet?

Optimus had to have seen this, as well, despite his affection for the humans. They would all pass away within their own time, leaving him with nothing but the memories. Optimus was far from stupid, otherwise the war between the Autobots and Decepticons would have been far over by now, but his spark did tend to bleed. It was a quality that, for an individual was by all intents and purposes a war lord in Starscream's opinion (though an arguably benevolent one), did not bode for a healthy existence. So what had Optimus probably learned in that point in the time to save his sanity? How to let go of it all, and understand that lives could slip through his massive hands into nothingness.

Starscream's breath caught in his throat. Perhaps Optimus's reading of that writing upon the wall was closer to his than he had first thought.

**Author's Note:**

> I am very, very sorry about how I wrote The Choices We Make and Wasted and Gained. I'm sorry for how immaturely it was written, and how it treated the conflicts between the characters in Armada as black and white. After taking the stories down of my own volition, I wanted to write a more mature story as a form of apology, and this was born as an idea. This is actually a birthday present for someone who became a good friend of mine, who I had met through my original Transformers Armada fics. The title comes from depictions of the Grim Reaper as carrying an hourglass, or a scythe, or both.
> 
> That being said, the reason I wrote an alternate take on Crack is that while I understand that Starscream, despite him being a more honorable character than his compatriots, would likely not have become a full Autobot due to his experiences, I don't think it was a tactically sound move to return to the Decepticons based upon Thrust's luring, especially considering that Thrust and Megatron's idea of keeping Starscream around just to humiliate him was one of the factors that drove him away from the Decepticons to begin with. Likely, had Starscream remained with the Autobots, he would eventually have returned to the Decepticons after the fall of Megatron, but I would think that his rule of the Decepticons would have been less war-like, forming as something of a bridge between the two factions, a fragile one, at that, but a step in a different direction. I tend to read the character as someone who, despite his war-like existence, is also exhausted of it, but also sees no end to it, given the difference in Decepticon and Autobot philosophy. For this reason, I read him as being slightly older than Hot Shot, or the same age as Jetfire, but more mature in his outlook.
> 
> I read the five kids who are aligned with the Autobots as teenagers due to Alexis's relationship with Starscream, and the drawing of the characters in height and development (especially how in some shots Alexis is shown as having breasts). I think that if the characters had been written as such, their line delivery and thought process would have been more mature, and they would have played more of a part in representing humanity in the conflict. As such, Rad, Carlos, and Alexis taking the Skyboom Shield Mini-Con team for a walk in the episode Crack isn't exactly the most intelligent, given the tensions that were already occurring between the Autobots and Starscream (especially since the fallout was what showed to Starscream how much the Autobots still distrusted him). At the very least, the three should have let someone know (such as Billy or Fred at least) where they were going. Again, while I'm fine with Starscream returning to the Decepticons of his own free will, Crack's writing bugged me from a plotting standpoint.
> 
> While Armada isn't the best Transformers series, it was my first series, and it had several ideas that I wish were better executed, such as using a smaller race as a battery (Mini-Cons), similarly to how human-designed robotic life is looked upon, the factions being used as a revolving door, a conflict between Megatron and Optimus that is predicated largely upon the fact that both can't seem to live without having the other as demonic fixture in each others' lives, a conflicted and complex take on Starscream, the characterization of Unicron as a supernatural force, and the fact that (see the episode Portent) humans can't truly understand Transformers.
> 
> I wrote much of this while listening to "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica. My personal history with this series is a bit of a story unto itself. I was ten when the series came out, and watched it until junior high started up. At age thirteen, I fell into depression due to a number of reasons, and came close to taking my own life. As this story has been posted today, that had not come to pass. I saw the live-action Transformers film that following summer, and while it wasn't a faithful incarnation of Transformers, it reminded me of my love of Transformers Armada, and it got me back into the series around the time that I also got into heavy metal music. My getting into both actually gave me some happiness, as I remembered how much happiness the series gave me as a child, and the metal music reminded me of what it was to be alive. It's not just an endless parade of happiness or sadness, but it's love, anger, fear, and other sensations, light and dark into one entity. Both also drove off some toxic people I had in my life, who didn't approve of my love of both. In short, while Transformers and metal music didn't save my life, both allowed me to feel alive again.


End file.
